You Need me I don't Need You
by 17daysgreys
Summary: After a drunken hookup, will April and Jackson be able to sort through their feelings for one another?


The tequila shots kept flowing, they weren't the norm for April Kepner, but she wasn't refusing. She needed to get drunk, after she had lost three patients during her shift the only thing that she knew she wanted was some salt, lime, and a bit of pain running down her throat. It's not like she had never been drunk before, there was that one time in college when she got the spins, but then she just passed out in her friend's dorm room and swore off drinking since. However, she never had such a rough day at work and this was completely and utterly warranted.

"Come on Kepner, you can do one more," Cristina shouted as Jackson Avery walked into their house. He wasn't invited to whatever shin-ding they were having, but he was never one to pass up on booze. So, he joined in and caught up with the others rather quickly.

"Jackson. Jackson Avery!" April drunkenly slurred.

"Mhmm," he responded.

"Did, did you know, that, that you're my best friend."

"I did."

"And friends do things for each other."

"Like?"

"I don't know," she erupted in laughter. Jackson was pretty drunk, after having three scotches in a matter of 30 minutes, but he could still stand straight. April, however, was a different story. He decided to take her up to bed, so she could get a good night's sleep and not have to worry about embarrassing herself in front of everyone. So, he slung her over his shoulder like a rag doll, she honestly felt as light as one. She collapsed over his shoulder, gaining a bit more of her sobriety, but she didn't want to admit that she was actually realizing what she was doing. She stared at his butt, she pretended she was looking at the floor, but she was eyeing him in those jeans. Jackson had her swung over his shoulder, holding her by the knees, but he wanted his hands to venture up further, he wanted, he didn't know what he wanted. They got to her bedroom and he put her down on her bed and as he went to turn away, he saw her lying there, looking at him with her hazel eyes longingly. He wanted her and he thought she wanted him, right?

"April," he softly said, "Why," he hesitated. Jackson Avery was never one to make decisions, never one to wear his heart on his sleeve and if he asked April what he wanted to know and she didn't feel the same way, then he'd have to bury himself in a hole and never come out, but something took over him whether it was sheer will or simply curiosity, "Why are you looking me like that?"

"Like what?" She batted her eyelashes again.

"April," he whispered again, "What do you want?"

"You." He was already on top of her, and she wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled his lips closer to hers, crashing like a wave in a storm he had never felt anything so electrifying in his life, never been so caught off guard, but at the same time incredibly pleasantly surprised.

He took his shirt off; he had already begun to sweat, as he continued to kiss her down her neck. She stared at him she had seen him change hundreds of times, she'd become immune to his body, his well defined pectoral muscles, his six pack; she never let herself really look at it because she knew it would never be hers. But now, as his chest was touching her, as he was touching her in a way that she had never imagined possible, she was feeling something in her body that she had never felt before. Sure, she'd, you know, but never with another person and this feeling was addicting.

He looked at her, her eyes were closed, but he could tell that she was enjoying herself. He made his way to her back as his hands delicately unclasped her bra, revealing her breasts. They were bigger than he had imagined, but still just as perky. He licked down her toned abdomen, causing her back to arch and a small moan to be let out, "What am I doing, she's April. She's April your best friend," he thought. But as he looked down at her, he didn't see his innocent friend April Kepner who he had met years ago, who had brown hair and a red notebook that was her legit lifeline. She was like this forbidden, untouched fruit, but damn was she grown. She knew exactly where to put her hands, exactly what sounds to make, exactly what he wanted, if he didn't know that she was a virgin before he never would have guessed it.

"April, are you okay?" He managed to ask in between heavy breaths, "Look at me," he instructed.

She opened her eyes and gazed into his, tentatively biting her lip as she came. Practically gasping at the energy that soared through her, she couldn't help but smile. Her back arched and her toes curled up as she practically seized, it was like she couldn't move her body was paralyzed by the pleasure. She beamed from ear to ear and he did too, he had done that to her, he had made her experience it.

"That was," she breathed heavily

"Amazing," he responded.

"Really, amazing," she turned over and looked at him, "Thank you Jackson."

"I'm the one who should be thanking you," he said bashfully, "I've never deflowered a virgin before."

"Oh, Jackson Avery you're making me blush."

"Come here," he instructed as he guided his strong arms around her tiny waist and held her close to him.

"What are you doing?"

"We're cuddling, that's what people do after sex."

"I know," she hesitated, "But are we those people? Cuddling is like defining something, are we defining something?" she rambled.

"April."

"Yeah?"

"Just accept it, stop overthinking. It doesn't mean anything more than you think it means."

"Okay," she smiled and rested her head on his chest and slept soundly.

* * *

 _Six Weeks Later_

"Kepner," Owen shouted, "Kepner I need you in my office." She turned around and followed him into his office, she had an idea of where the conversation was headed but she was didn't think she was ready for her answer. After passing the boards she had received offers from Case Western, UVA, and UCLA, all of which were playing hardball to get her attention. She wanted to stay in Seattle because she had people here, a life here, some sort of connection, but how could she say no to the opportunities that were available elsewhere?

"Have you decided where you're going to do your fellowship?" Owen asked.

"Yes, I'm going to Case Western. I'm sorry, Dr. Hunt, really I am."

"April, there's nothing to be sorry for, you're an amazing surgeon and I'm happy that I was able to be a part of your journey here. Promise me you'll consider coming back when your fellowship is done?"

"I bought a round trip ticket on purpose," she smiled back at him.

"It was a pleasure working with you Dr. Kepner."

"Mine as well, I'm going to miss you, this, everything."

"We're going to miss you too, is there something that changed your mind about it?"

"Yeah, I just need to be by my family right now. And there's nothing tying me here, anymore."

"I understand," Owen, answered slightly confused by her vague response.

"Thank you, Dr. Hunt, I'll be going now. I still have to run the pit for a couple more days."

* * *

April had been avoiding Jackson as much as possible during the last six weeks; she didn't have the slightest idea how to approach him. What were they? Were they friends, lovers, boyfriend and girlfriend? She was too afraid of the rejection and of the pity that he would throw her way that she decided to avoid him all together.

"April," she heard a familiar voice shout, "April! Wait!"

"Crap," she stuttered as she turned around to see her best friend staring at her, just one look at him and she could feel her knees buckling, she could not deny that she wanted him and bad.

"April, why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you, I've just been busy with work, packing, you know I'm not avoiding you," she lied through her teeth.

"Packing?"

"I'm going to Case Western," she looked down at the ground she couldn't bear to see if there was heartbreak in his eyes or not.

"You're leaving and you didn't tell me? When are you leaving?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight?" He practically screamed, "April, what the hell has gotten into you?"

"I thought you were going to Tulane so I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal."

"April, I'm not going to Tulane."

"You're not? But it's such a great program you can't give that up. Sloan even said that"

"I don't care what Sloan said," he cut her off, "I chose Seattle because there are certain things keeping me here, certain people keeping me here that I couldn't dream of walking away from."

"Jackson, please don't make this harder than it already is, I have to go. I just have to."

"Please don't walk away, please do not walk away from us."

"There is no us to walk away from Jackson. Yes, we had sex, but we're not a couple. I'm not someone who's going to fawn over a man she can't have. I loved being with you, I love that I had my first time with my best friend, but I'm not going to make you be obligated to me."

"I, I can't believe you just said that," she heard his voice croak, "You know what? You should just go, have a great time in Ohio." And with that he turned around and walked away.

* * *

 _Six Months Later_

"Come on April it'll be fun!" Libby pleaded.

"Yeah, April we all did it, you just have to lighten up," Alice added.

"We're really trying to do something nice, so get in there, smile, and be happy. This is a good thing," Kimmie said.

"Fine, I'll go in. But no pictures, please no pictures," April groaned.

"April, it's your baby shower. We're taking pictures!" Libby instructed. April's heart skipped a beat, he still didn't know, and she wasn't ready to tell him, so she gave her sisters a nervous look.

"Apple, you're going to have to tell him," Alice tried to comfort her sister.

"This is what he wanted. He didn't want me, I can't just loop him in because I'm pregnant."

"Did you even ask him if he wanted you?" Alice asked.

"No, I didn't," April, confessed.

"What?" Her sisters all yelled in unison, "So you're telling us you came to Ohio, pregnant and single because you were too afraid your baby daddy slash your best friend slash the man you lost your virginity to wouldn't want to date you? Are you crazy April?" Libby yelled.

"Yes. Crazily stupid!" April scoffed, "Can we just go in now? I don't need you guys judging me anymore than I'm already judging myself."

The room was decorated with blue ribbons, cupcakes, streamers; it was like blue threw up on April's living room. Her sisters had set up a plethora of games to keep everyone busy and it took April a while to be comfortable with the idea of taking photos but she was just having too much fun.

"Alright, now that everyone has their guesses in for April's measurements we're going to do the final measure," Libby called out, "Anyone want to do the honors?"

"I'll do it," Dr. Greg Hanson responded, he was April's best friend at Case Western and the other trauma fellow. He was the first one to show her around the hospital on her first day and they had been inseparable ever since, he was even there when she found out she was having a boy. In a way he was her pseudo- baby daddy, much to the annoyance of Greg's husband Joshua. But Joshua had a soft spot for April and her predicament and the two men had pretty much taken her under their wings when they found out that the baby's father was not involved.

"29 inches," he called out. The rest of the afternoon went well, with April even obliging to letting her sisters take a photo with her.

"You look really great, April," Kimmie said as she had her arm wrapped around April.

"Okay, now let's do one where we pose with her belly," Alice suggested.

"You guys," April protested.

"No whining, Apple, you only get to have your first baby once, now smile for the camera," Libby scolded. The photos turned out really cute and April looked positively glowing in all of them, she couldn't believe that in a few short months she'd be a mom. But what she didn't know was that her sisters posted the photos on Facebook and tagged her in them. April had stayed off of social media, particularly the posting photos part because she didn't want a certain someone to know about another certain someone.

* * *

"Did you see?" Cristina asked as she barged into the Attending's' lounge.

"See what?" Meredith responded.

"April! Did you see April?"

"Is she here?" Meredith asked confused at what her best friend was trying to get at.

"Just look at this," Cristina practically shoved her phone in Meredith's face. And there it was in its shining glory a photo of April and her sisters surrounding her and her baby bump. With the caption, _Apple's little apple due in 2 months; can't wait to meet the little guy"_

"Oh my God," Meredith was at a loss for words, "So that's why she went to Ohio."

"That's why who went to Ohio?" Jackson wondered as he took his coat off.

"Oh, Jackson we didn't hear you come in," Cristina tried to divert the subject.

"Sorry? I didn't mean to be stealthy, but what were you two talking about?"

"It was nothing, don't worry about it," Meredith said as she grabbed her phone and went to leave, but before she did she accidentally tapped on Facebook and the first thing on her feed was April Kepner's photo.

"Is that April?" Jackson asked.

"Oh no," Meredith thought, "Oh, oops I must have opened the wrong thing, I, I gotta run, I have surgery," she panicked as she quickly locked her phone and ran out of the lounge like a bat out of hell.

"You guys know I can see a photo of April and not cry my eyes out, I'm an adult."

"Oh pretty boy, you're going to be doing a lot more crying than you think," Cristina laughed as she patted Jackson's shoulder and left the lounge.

"What the hell?" Jackson was still confused, so he whipped out his phone and searched for April's name. He hadn't deleted her from any of his social medias; he just told himself that he didn't have the time to check them. He didn't want to know about her life in Ohio, because it was still too painful. He had had real feelings for her and she just left, he was so angry at her but even more angry with himself because he loved her. And that's when he saw it, April Kepner and her sisters smiling with their hands on a very distinctive baby bump.

"Oh my God," he dropped his phone and covered his mouth with his hands.

* * *

A week had passed since Jackson had seen April's photo and now he was in Ohio to confront her. He didn't know of a better way, because calling her over the phone and yelling wasn't an option, texting her wasn't either, he needed to see her face to face to see if the baby was even his. He knew it was though; there would have been no other reason for her to leave. He got to Case Western Reserve and walked in, "This is it. This is where you start the rest of your life," he gave himself a small pep talk.

"Excuse me," he asked a nurse, "Could you please tell me where I can find Dr. Kepner?"

"I can have her paged, just sit here and she'll be down soon. Her shift doesn't start for another 30 minutes."

"Thank you.

* * *

"That's weird, I'm being paged to the waiting room," April said.

"Why? Were you expecting anyone?" Joshua asked.

"No, I don't think so."

"Just go, if you're not back by rounds I'll have to give you my dud intern," Greg laughed.

"You're on. I'm sure it'll be something quick," she turned to run out of the lounge but not before hearing both of her friends shout, "Stop running Kepner, you're in your third trimester for Pete's sake." Which only caused April to roll her eyes. She hadn't slowed down once since she found out she was pregnant, working was the only thing that could keep her mind preoccupied and off of him. As she reached the waiting room, she saw him, sitting there twirling his fingers, which was a clear sign that he was nervous.

"Oh my God," she breathed, "What the hell is he doing here?" As she turned on her heel to run away, Jackson looked up and caught sight of her fiery red hair and ran after her. He finally caught up to her and grabbed her by the arm so she couldn't go any further.

"Let go of me, Jackson," she yelled.

"I think we need to talk."

April swallowed hard, as she looked up at her former best friend, whose eyes were trembling with fear, "I think we need to, too."

"Is it mine?"

"Yes," she croaked out.

"What the Hell April? Why didn't you tell me, you should have told me," he was seething with anger.

"I didn't know how to."

"It's quite simple, you call me and you say, 'Hey Jackson remember the time we had sex, I'm pregnant', something like that."

"You're acting like it's easy, when it's not. I didn't want to trap you."

"April, how many times do I have to tell you that you're not trapping me; I wanted to be with you, I wanted you? Why do you keep second-guessing me? And now you've kept my child from me, were you ever going to tell me?"

"I was going to tell you," she softly responded.

"Well, where do we go form here?"

"I don't expect anything from you Jackson, I'm perfectly okay and I can take care of myself."

"Dammit April," he yelled, "Can you please stop?"

April looked up at him with tears in her eyes and that's when he did it, he kissed her, his lips crashed onto hers and they melted into each other like no time had passed at all. "We're having a baby and I want you with me, come back to Seattle with me?"

"Jackson, I have a life here, a fellowship here," she tried to explain.

"You've been gone for too long, April. I need you with me, I need you to come home."

She looked at him again, she could tell he was serious, because Jackson Avery never wore his heart on his sleeve, "Okay, I'll come home."


End file.
